This is my first thanksgiving at home in two years! Obviously I am super juiced. But enough of this bullshit! Fuck family, friends and good health. 2009 was a shitty year for a lot of people, but here are the things that keep me from slitting my wrists.
Johnnysbird.com: It's like the cobrasnake's sexy bad ass older brother. You wish you were cool enough to kick it with him, but you know your not. So instead you play mind games with the cobra snake and lead him on. At least this way Johnny's bird knows you exist.
Peach Swishers: With all the berkeley kids home, I will be smoking a lot of blunts this weekend. While I am down with Mary Jane, she doesn't run my life! Smoking is more pleasurable when:
A. I roll the blunt.
B. It's wrapped in a peach swisher.
Joaquin Phoenix's Rap Career: I think I'm in love (you think I'm kidding, I'm not...) This is what I would do if I were an Academy Award nominated actress. I would fake a nervous breakdown, quit acting and try and become a rapper. For some ungodly reason I find all this very hot. Bat shit crazy or best actor ever? I say both.
Neopets: I wont dwell on this, but neopet games are the only thing that keeps me sane.
The Gucci movie: I'm sorry if anyone was mislead by the picture, this is about the Gucci brand not Gucci Mane. Even though I hate Angelina Jolie with a passion. A very strong passion. To the point that I could do an entire post on hating her, I am very excited over the upcoming movie on the scandalous Gucci Family. If Leo DiCaprio agrees to do it, it might be an actual good movie...though that is doubtful.
Last but not least...my favorite part of Thanksgiving...Football! I am Currently watching Texas A&M vs. UT at my friend Brynne’s house (shout out to her mom Dena on a bomb ass thanksgiving dinner!) as Brynne writes a late essay. Anyways I am actually a huge football fan...
Patriots BITCH.
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